You can't erase your past
by T.J. Midget
Summary: When an old friend of Jack dies he has to face his past.
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: It took me some time, but I finally started a new story. I hope you'll enjoy it. Reviews (also critical) are always welcome!

Synopsis: When an old friend of Jack dies he has to face his past.

Disclaimer: Diagnosis Murder is property of PAX, CBS, Viacom and Paramount.

**You can't erase your past**

"Life is like writing with a pen. You can cross out your past but you can't erase it."

E. B. White

Chapter 1

"No way! I can't believe that's how he broke his arm!"

"Well, it's true. His wife just told me," Mark said with a giggle. He was standing in the corridor of Community General Hospital with Jack, who was chuckling as well.

"Oh, there you are. We've been looking for you everywhere! Jack, this young man wanted to see you. He says he is an old friend of yours."

Mark and Jack turned around to Amanda and her companion.

"Hey Jack, long time no…" That's how far the 'old friend' got before Jack punched him square in the face, sending him to the ground. Amanda shrieked and Mark looked unbelievingly at his friend, whose mood has changed from laughing to downright furious within seconds.

"Jack, are you out of your mind? Why did you do that?"

"It's all right, doc," said the stranger holding his now bleeding nose while getting up from the floor. "I probably deserved that."

"You deserved that all right! And you better get out of my sight immediately."

Amanda handed the downed man a handkerchief, which was accepted gratefully. "Care to explain what this is all about?" she asked looking from Jack to the other man.

"Well, maybe I was a little exaggerating when I told you that I was an old friend of Jack. We had a bit of an argument the last time we saw each other."

"A bit of an argument? You call that a bit of an argument! You almost got me expelled from school so you could go on a date with my girlfriend. I can't believe you have the nerve to come here. I spent 24 hours in a prison cell, trying to convince the police that I wasn't into drug dealing and another two weeks convincing the headmaster to let me finish my final exam. Because of you I almost couldn't got to Med School."

"Oh, I remember that," Mark intervened. "Phil Miller, right?"

Phil only nodded and then continued. "Oh Jack, that was all a long time ago. And anyway, nothing bad happened. You are a doctor now, aren't you?"

"Just… leave me alone!" And with that, Jack turned on his heel and left, leaving behind the very stunned Mark and Amanda.

"Huh, didn't think that he would still be angry at me," Phil said while Mark and Amanda, who looked at him incredulously. "Well, would anybody of you be so kind and have a look at my nose? I think Jack actually broke it. He always had a mean right straight." That's what Mark got out of his stupor.

"Of course, follow me." 

* * *

An hour later, Jack walked into Mark's office, having calmed down significantly.

"Mark, I want to apologise for my behaviour earlier. Phil's presence... it just triggered some very unpleasant memories."

"You shouldn't be apologising to me but to your friend. You broke his nose!"

"I already did that Mark. Everything's alright now. He won't even press charges."

"So, what did he want anyway?"

"He wanted me to do him a favour. I said no."

"You said no? Why's that?"

"You remember the first time we met?"

Mark nodded. "Yes, you were in a fight and one of your friends was shot. That's why you came here." Mark smiled upon the memory. The 16 years-old Jack had carried his friend into the emergency room. When Mark examined the injured kid, he noticed that he had already been bandaged by somebody else, which probably saved his life. As Mark was told later, it was Jack who took care of the boy. It was one of the reasons why Mark convinced Jack to study Medicine.

"The reason we got into that fight in the first place was that Phil had pissed off one of the guys the attacked us. Being friends with Phil always means trouble. Big time."

"You were not an innocent lamb yourself, remember?"

"Yeah, butI left all that behind a long time ago – thanks to you – and I'm not going to risk what I've got now just because of him. Funnily enough, he accepted it and left. Maybe he has finally grown up."

There was a knock on the door and Amanda came inside.

"Jack, I have bad news. Your friend Phil Miller was just brought in. Somebody shot him..."

"See what I mean? Where he goes trouble isn't far. How is he?"

"He is dead..."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"He wasn't very far from here when he was shot. The old man who called for an ambulance is the only witness. He told us that the attackers were on a black motorbike and killed Miller in passing. Unfortunately, he didn't see the number plate," Steve told his father and Amanda. "Somebody's already checking if any of Miller's acquaintances possesses a black motorbike. That's all we have right now."

"Jack told me that Miller wanted him to do him a favour. Maybe there is a connection," Mark said.

"Wait, I thought Miller was here to get his nose seen to."

"No, that kind of happened while he was here," Amanda explained.

"Who breaks his nose in a hospital?"

"He had a slight argument with Jack."

"Jack did that to him? By the way, where is he?"

"He is finishing his rounds," Mark answered. "I think Miller's death quite affected him."

"I will need to talk to him."

"His shift should be over any minute."

As if on cue, Jack entered the office. The usually talkative and good-humoured doctor was now very silent and serious. "I'm finished for today. See you tomorrow. Bye Mark, Amanda, Steve."

He was about to leave when Steve stopped him. "Wait. Why did Miller want to talk to you? What did he say?"

"There's nothing to tell. He asked me to do him a favour, I said no, he left and now he's dead. End of story. So, if you don't mind I'm going home." And then he was already gone.

Steve looked after him dumbfounded. "Wow, this really seems to bother him."

"He feels guilty. They used to be pretty close. He probably thinks that he could have saved Miller by not sending him away," Mark explained.

"It's not his fault. Maybe someone should talk to him."

"Let him grieve, Amanda. He will talk to us when he's ready."

"Well, tell him to call me when he's up to it. Meanwhile, I'm going to talk to Miller's relatives and friends," Steve said. "See you later." And with that he left.

* * *

Jack didn't even think of going home. Instead he was heading for a place he hasn't been visiting for a long time. And still he knew the way by heart. He parked across the road of the Miller's house and got out of his car. Lots of memories were connected to this place – good and bad ones. Jack often felt sorry for how things turned out, how the friendship between Phil and him ended so abruptly. He hadn't been angry at Phil because he had asked Ellie out. Ellie and Jack had realised that they were friends rather than lovers long before that. What had hurt most was the betrayal and that he endangered Jack's career although he knew how important becoming a doctor was to him. Jack had always suspected that there was more to the whole incident, but he just couldn't put his finger on it. Phil had never been an angel – far from it – but he would never do anything to harm Jack. And now Phil was dead and he would never know.

Jack realised that he had been staring at the house the whole time, what he supposed must look rather stupid. He locked his Corvette and made to cross the street. Out of nowhere a car sped down the street. The young doctor didn't even have the chance to dodge it and the by then breaking car hit him on his left side, sending him flying over the bonnet and to the ground. Pain immediately exploded in his left leg and upper abdomen. Then he heard feet approaching. Probably the driver trying to help him. But instead, strong arms roughly pulled him up and pressed him to the side of the car.

"Where is it? Tell me!"

Jack couldn't make any sense of his attacker's words. He tried to focus his eyes on him and noticed that his tormentor wasn't alone. There was another man standing next to him.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Jack gasped out. This earned him a blow to his ribs and already injured side.

"Don't play dumb with us," the second guy said angrily while Jack was desperately struggling to get some air into his lungs. "We saw you talking to Miller. So where is the package?"

"I don't know of any package!" Jack felt his energy draining fast, leaving him light-headed and weak. He knew that if he didn't come up with an escape plan soon then he would pass out and he didn't even dare to think what would happen afterwards.

The sound of a shot jolted him out of his thoughts.

"Get your bloody hands of him or the second shot won't miss," somebody shouted.

The first thug let go of Jack, who immediately crumbled to the ground. The gorillas got into the car and sped off. Jack's saviour crouched down next to him.

"Are you alright, son?" Then recognition dawned on his face. "Jack?"

Harry Millers face was the last thing Jack saw before he passed out.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Mark was about to end his shift at 8 p.m. when he was called to the ER.

"What do we have?" he asked the EMT.

"Victim was hit by a car and beaten up. Haemorrhaging in the left leg and upper left abdomen. Suspected broken rips and ruptured spleen. Shock. BP 60/40. Heart rate 110."

"Ultrasound, X-ray and prepare OR for emergency..." Then he saw the patient's face and gasped. "Jack!"

Mark's friend was unconscious and deadly pale. Having recovered from the initial shock, Mark gave orders to the nurses and requested another doctor to assist him. The ultrasound showed that the spleen was indeed ruptured – a removal was unavoidable.

"Okay, get him into the OR!"

* * *

About three hours later, Mark came out of the OR. He was greeted by many worried faces – Amanda, Steve and an elderly couple he didn't know. The woman looked close to tears. Amanda was the first to ask the question everybody wanted an answer to. "How is he?"

"The operation went well. We had to remove the spleen, but he will be alright. He has also two broken ribs and his leg is badly bruised. It will give him some trouble, but should heal nicely."

Everybody was relieved to hear that.

"Do we know what happened?" Mark asked his son.

"We don't know very much, yet. Mr and Mrs Miller here heard the commotion outside and went to have a look. When Mr Miller went to help Jack, the attackers ran off. We hope Jack will be able to tell us more."

Mark nodded and then turned to the Millers. "You are Phil's parents? I'm sorry for your loss."

"Thank you, Dr Sloan. We knew that Phil was in some kind of trouble, but he never answered when we asked him. He was always so secretive," Harry Miller said.

"Do you know why he went to see Jack?"

"We didn't know that he wanted to meet him at all. After all, they haven't been talking to each other since their final high school year. It was quite a shock when we suddenly found him in front of our house. Thank God that he will be alright," Caroline Miller explained with fresh tears in her eyes.

"Is there anybody else Phil might have confided in? Friends, girlfriends, relatives?"

"He didn't have many friends and we don't know any of them in person. And he didn't have a girlfriend, either. Oh wait, Ellie called last week asking for him."

"Who is Ellie?" Steve asked.

"Ellie Clarke. She was in Phil's high school class."

"Oh, I remember her!" Mark said. "She was Jack's girlfriend, right?"

"Yes, that's right. Well, she had been until that day..."

"The day Phil accused Jack of drug dealing," Mark finished.

"It was his biggest mistake. He lost his best friend just because of a girl," Harry said darkly.

"Do you know how we can contact this Ellie Clarke?" Steve asked.

"She lives in Seattle, but right now she has business in Los Angeles. She told me when she called."

"Where does she stay?"

"Sorry, I don't know that."

"Thank you, Mr and Mrs Miller," said Steve giving them his card. "Please call me if you remember anything else."

"Sure. And please call us when Jack wakes up."

"Of course," Mark answered.

When the Millers had left, Mark stifled a yawn.

"Dad, I think you should go home, too."

"He is right, Mark. Jack won't wake up before tomorrow morning anyway."

"Okay, okay, I surrender. See you tomorrow."

* * *

Jack lay in his hospital bed and stared at the ceiling while he tried to comprehend everything that happened the night before. He had woken up one hour before feeling like crap, which was proof enough that he didn't dreamed it up – Phil's death, the accident that really wasn't one and Harry Miller coming to his rescue. A nurse had informed him of his emergency spleenectomy and fetched a doctor to adjust his pain medication. With the physical pain reduced to no more than a dull ache, his feelings of guilt came back with a vengeance. Maybe he could have saved Phil by helping him, but instead he behaved like an idiot. He didn't even ask what that favour was. And then there were also the two guys who had attacked him. They were somehow connected to Phil's murder – that much was for sure. All Jack knew was that they were looking for a package. A package that must have been in Phil's possession. Jack knew that he needed to find that mysterious package. Maybe it would give him some thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. It was Mark.

"Good morning, how are you doing?"

"Not bad considering that I got hit by a car and beaten up, I'm missing a spleen and my leg's colour resembles that of my car. But I guess I'm pretty doped up right now."

Mark smiled and said down on Jack's bed. "And how are you coping with everything else?"

"I'm fine."

"Jack, I have known you for how many years. I can see that you are not fine. But you have to understand that there was nothing you could have done to prevent Phil's death."

"Really? He needed my help and I turned him down. Some friend I am."

"To be so hard on yourself. They probably would have got him sooner or later, with or without you helping him."

"That's what I will never find out."

Mark sensed that for Jack the discussion was over, so he changed the subject.

"Want to talk about what happened yesterday?"

Jack sighed. "I went to see Caroline and Harry, Phil's parents, when they attacked me. They were looking for a package. That's all I know."

There was another knock and Steve entered.

"Hey, glad to see you awake. How are you?"

"I'm good. Can't wait to get out of here."

"Which won't happen for at least another two days."

"Ah, come on, Mark!"

"No arguments or I'll make it three days!"

"Yes sir," Jack mumbled, which earned a grin from Mark and Steve.

"Jack, I have to talk to you about Miller's death and what happened last night," Steve then said more seriously. So Jack explained everything a second time.

"Would you recognise the two guys?" Steve asked when Jack had finished.

"I'm not sure. I was already pretty out of it when they got out of the car. I'm sorry, Steve."

"Don't worry about it. Harry Miller could give us a rough description. We will find them."

"I owe my life to Harry. I don't want to imagine what would have happened if he hadn't been there."

Mark was painfully aware that Jack was right. He could have easily bled to death internally without Mr Miller. It was Steve who changed the subject.

"Guess what, we found out where Ellie Clarke stays. Somebody is on his way to question her."

Jack looked confused. "Ellie Clarke? What is she doing here?"

"Mrs Miller told us that she tried to contact Phil last week. Anything you can tell us about her?"

"Nothing recent. She used to phone every now and then after we left school, but I haven't heard of her for at least four or five years. She was working for a logistics company then, although she always wanted to become a police officer. That's why she left LA. Didn't want to accidentally bust any of her old friends," Jack explained.

"Like Phil Miller?"

"Believe me, that's just the peak of the iceberg."

"Were Ellie and Phil a couple?" Mark asked.

"No, they went on a date, but it didn't work out."

"Why?"

"She was angry at him. He didn't make a lot of friends in his last year."

"Seems that he lost some, too."

"Yeah," Jack said darkly. "Listen, I'll need a few things from my apartment. Could somebody stop by and get them for me."

"I've already asked Amanda. She should be there right now.


End file.
